Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Pain-in-the-ass-habits !



Habits describe human nature. Don't they? But nowadays, mine are such a pain in the ass. I don't know what is wrong, but past two weeks, few things have turned into a weird routine. Mind you, what you are about to read are just two weeks older! But bitches are getting consistent each passing day.


1. It's getting colder here day after day. I usually take bath with cold water. Nowadays, after entering the bathroom, all I do is stare at that icy water, wondering what to do with it. How am I supposed to take bath with that icy bitch? So I just stare for 5 mins and all of a sudden I take that bucket full of water on my body. Sigh! No wonder I feel sick. 
P.S. I do have a geyser in my bathroom. Am I dumb?


2. Every night I swear to God that I will keep my door key in place. I never do. It specially irritates me to the core. Because I am obsessed with this organization thingy. In my room, you won't find a thing moved an inch away from its place. But when it comes to the door key, I get screwed. Now missing the office bus or running after it is a part of my life. I get up exactly half an hour before arrival of the bus and I spend at least 10 mins searching for this damn key ! I mean how hard is to get a key-chain or place the key on the table?


3. I spill milk almost everyday. To break this routine, I used to stand in front of gas like an idiot, hoping to cut off the ignition at the boiling point. 5-10 mins and nothing happens. Then I suddenly feel this urge to listen to music. So I go to bedroom, switch on my laptop and by the time I return, bang ! it's all gone. Bastard is playing with me huh?


4. I sleep chanting , "I am the master of my own bladder" The simple reason is, if I wake up to pee in the middle of night, I can't sleep afterwards. So I make sure that I drink plenty of water, pee and then sleep. And fuck! After few hours, I again wake up to pee! The more I try to not think about it, the more intense it becomes. Winter effects or bloody moody penis of mine?


5. I stare at people for no reason. Actually I have this tendency to stare at someone when I am lost in my thoughts. But nowadays, every-time I stare at someone, it happens to be a beautiful girl. No wonder I get "Mind-your-own-business-you-creep, never-saw-a-girl-before? You-horny-bastard" look. :(


6. I switch on alarm clock in my phone. I sleep for 15 mins and then convince myself that it's not on. Furious, I wake up again. Stare at it. See it is on. In frustration, turn it off and then on again. Then sleep. I still don't realize it's on for 7.30 PM and not AM. I have been doing this since 4 days now. Even apes are smarter than me !




Is the world really coming to end? Somebody save me :(